It just takes time

As I was going through some papers this morning, it hit me. Today makes 6 years ago that Department of Children and families showed up at my moms to perform their investigation because I failed a drug screen for probation. My nightmare had then began! My whole world was turned upside down. "what was I going to do now" is all I could think. What have I done. The next morning we had court for emergency placement. The investigator told me in court I would never make it. I was a "needle junkie" he called me and had about a 1% chance of ever recovering. I told him dont you worry "I got this"

After many many months of fighting with them and me eventually going to jail and finally realizing I did indeed have a problem. DCF closed my case and told me I may as well just give up my parental right and just let my mom adopt the kids so they could have a life that I could not provide for them. "are you crazy I asked her". Theres no way I will do that I am going to get help. All I was waiting on was a bed. I will not give up my parental rights. They closed my case and told me when I thought I could be a momma write a judge and get the case reopened.

I spent months in jail waiting on a bed, and finally was sent to the Orlando Bridge. I worked very hard on my recovery while there. I was finally figuring out who the real ME was again. It was the longest 6 months of my whole entire life. Everyday there I missed my family, I missed my kids, I just wanted to be home and be home and stay sober. I graduated that program. The first thing in my entire life I had ever completed.

Once I got home, it wasnt over I still had a long way to go. I had to find a job, I had alot to do to be able to even write the judge. I started work then I had another set back. I got a letter in the mail I had to go back to court for child support. I didnt think it was ever going to be over. I finally got my letter wrote to the judge to get my case reopened. I got a court date FINALLY!!! The case worker looked at me and I asked him what happened to his 1% now? I started my case plan went to tons and tons of parenting classes all kinds of counseling and I was on the road to getting my life back together. It felt so good to be me again and have my family back with me. The happiest day of my life when the judge ordered reunification. :)

I just want you all to know its sometimes a struggle, and what appears to be alot of work. But it can be done. I am living proof of it. Now 6 years later I have my kids we live a great life. In our own home, I married my very best friend. And my life could not be any happier. Dont ever give up it can be done!! I just decided to do the blog thing. I am sure its not the best. But practice make perfect. Right? I hope you enjoyed and if this is a battle your going through just remember "you can do it"!!! For me I will keep on with my recovery. And reach out to others that struggle with addiction. All I want to do is help others and get them through it. So for now I will just live...

My Testimony

I would like to start by saying I am so glad to be saved and for giving my heart to God. Because I was bound for a place called hell.  I had a addiction to drugs that not even I knew who I was anymore. I was stealing from my family, friends and those who meant the most to me at one point in my life. I had no desire to be anything but a addict. My addiction caused me to lose everything I ever had including my familys trust and my own children. Still then I had no desire to change my life. I was eventually placed on probation for the wrongs that I was doing in life and still nothing. I knew in my heart that I had a family that prayed for me everyday, and in August 2006 those prayers were answered. I ended up back in jail and found myself pleading with the judge that I needed help. I was a mother of 2 beautiful children that needed me at home with them. I begged the judge this ol girl didnt need prison "I needed help"!! I was then sentenced to a rehab program that would help me get what I wanted. I met a group of people while in jail cause the Meth Free project, a AWESOME group of people. Who made me realize there was hope for me. I had a God that loved me no matter what. God had never once gave up on me, and knew I could overcome this disease. After awaiting a bed I was finally sent to rehab where I learnt coping skills, learned more about my addiction and after just a short time I found ME again. Finally my family starting coming around and saw that I was doing what was best for me and my kids. I attended church while at this program and thought this whole time I was "ok". Finally I got to come home after 9 long months away from my family, got a job, regained custody of my children, met my husband and began living my life sober. After a while of being home I recieved a text on my phone from Mike telling me church started at 10:45 and he would love to see me there. My grany said whol was that and I read the text to her and she says now how are you going to handle that?  I said "Im not" and sat the phone on the table and walked away. I thought it was going to be that easy to just ignore the message. I had this heart wrenching conviction come over me that was telling me getted dressed and get down to that church. I felt God telling me he was there for me when noone else was, when I could not even live with myself. Why coudnt I just go? So I got dressed and went to church. Mike very surprised to see me there.(another prayer answered) I got home and life was as normal I went back the next few Sundays and there was just one Sundayin July 2010 that I will never forget. I felt like Mike was preaching to noone else in the church he was only preaching to me. I met him at the alter and told him all I wanted was to be saved. I asked God into my heart and to forgive me of all my sins. I then became a born again Christian. I no longer have the fear of dying and going to a place called hell anymore. I am a child of God. I have had so many blessings in my life that I could not even begin to count. Im still not perfect none of us are. But to God be the glory no matter if im up on the mountain or down in the valley God will be there to bring me through it. Oneday as I continue to pray for courage I will stand in schools and other places to reach out to teenagers and adults who have choose the same road I went down. and let them know there is a God that loves them and then can overcome this disease of addiction. Its not a easy road but with God you can do ANYTHING!!! and thats my TESTIMONY!!!

                                                        Christy Nichols